Motherhood - Carving Out A Place

He’s carving out a place in me that I might contain his glory,

Making a bigger space in me that I might contain his glory.

________

Motherhood will bring you to the end of yourself faster than anything else.

Even as I sit here to write, I hear my newborn crying when he should be sleeping for another hour.

I feel my flesh rise in anger and frustration.

The joy and pain of motherhood is that I am the one who has been chosen to meet my son's every need.

As much as I would like him to meet his own needs or someone else to step in, nine times out of ten, I am the one.

I am the one to step up and do what needs to be done.

There is no other option. (other than neglect, I guess).

In those moments, I feel Him carving out a place in me.

I feel my flesh dying - and it doesn’t necessarily feel good.

I feel my spirit come head to head with my frustration.

I feel myself at the end of my emotional rope

and that is where the carving takes place.

In that place, there is always more spiritual activity going on than I am aware of.

I don’t feel a magical moment where the fruits of my flesh are exchanged for the fruits of the Spirit.

But I do feel the carving.

I do feel Him making a bigger space.

Today, I decide not to despise the carving.

Because I know that over time, day after day of tiny moments, there will be a bigger space

in which I might contain His glory.

And that is a great reward.